Nobody's Angel
by Brookebynature
Summary: Blair Waldorf isn't going anywhere. Heaven won't take her and Hell's afraid she'll take over. Chuck/Blair drama set after 1X13. Oneshot show based.


**Disclaimer- **I don't own Blair, Chuck, or any of the other characters. And I don't own Gossip Girl.

**A/N- **Woo! More from my favourite couple. I can't wait til April 21st, hopefully more Chuck/Blair hotness. Hope you enjoy this oneshot, and please review :)

**

* * *

**

**Nobody's Angel**

She lies there, motionless, too many wires across her body, too many bruises colouring her skin, too many bandages covering her limbs.

He's been here every day.

He was there when Serena cried onto him, when she said that all of this was his fault. If whatever had gone on between the two of them hadn't happened, then _that_ helicopter wouldn't have left the ground.

_That_ helicopter wouldn't have crashed only minutes later.

It _was_ all his fault. He didn't need Serena to tell him that.

He was there when Nate had visited. Chuck had watched as his old best friend placed his hands on the door several times, only to turn away at the sight of his ex-girlfriend unconscious in a hospital bed.

Sometimes, Nathaniel Archibald made him sick. He couldn't be disappointed at him anymore, because he had nothing to expect from him. But he could be angry. Nate broke Blair's heart.

Now she was breaking his.

He was there when Dan had visited. He'd come in place of Serena, because the blonde was sick, and didn't want Blair to catch anything. If Chuck had had the heart to feel compassion towards anyone other than Blair, he might have thanked Dan for the gesture.

Instead, he just nodded as the brown-haired poor boy placed the bouquet of yellow and orange flowers on the bedside table. That made Chuck mad.

Blair hated yellow flowers. White lilies were her favourite. Pale and interesting, just like her, just like she had been before all of this.

Serena was supposed to know that Blair didn't like yellow flowers unless it was Summer, and they were sunflowers. Nothing in that bouquet resembled a sunflower.

He was there when Eleanor came. It was her first and last visit, and Chuck resents Blair's mother for almost everything; the clothes, the countless hair products, the bulimia (because he knows Blair Waldorf better than anybody. And he knows that Eleanor put that there).

He guesses that Blair's mother hasn't called her father out in France, because if she had, he'd be by her bedside. If Chuck wasn't so selfish, maybe he'd call him himself.

-

The rain never stops. It's like the fucking monsoon season, and the grey skies are beginning to give him a headache. That, and the constant bleeping from Blair's monitor.

Sometimes he dozes off, just for a few moments, a stolen half hour where there's no heart monitor, no bleeping, no unconscious Blair. It's a place where it's always Summer, always sunny and Blair admires the sunflowers growing wild in fields stretching as far as they can see. Chuck's not sure where that place is. It's definitely not here.

And then he'll get jolted awake again, perhaps by a nurse opening the door, perhaps by something too vivid in his dream, perhaps just by that continuous bleeping.

Chuck only leaves to shower. When Blair wakes, if Blair wakes, he doesn't want to provide her with any more ammo than she already has. So he makes sure he's clean, makes sure his hair's washed and he smells of that cologne she bought him one Christmas.

He only ever wears it for her. The scent's wasted on anyone else.

-

"I reserved something for you." He tells her one day, the first day he's ever spoken too her, the only day he promises himself he'll speak to her in here. "And it's pretty expensive so when you're done with the sympathy vote here, we can go get it."

She doesn't even flinch.

"Blair!" He shouts, frustrated. And yet again, the monitor doesn't change, her hand doesn't twitch and her eyelids don't flicker. "Damn it."

His hands claw at the bed sheets and he thinks somewhere, a tear might have rolled down his face because he feels something wet and salty against his lips. Chuck doesn't cry over anything. Or anyone.

Blair Waldorf can make him do things he's never done before even when she'd not conscious. Sometimes he hates her for it.

Now he just wants a reaction from her.

And then he gets one, as he feels something clasp around a strand of his hair and tug, not lightly, but not enough to really cause pain.

"What the hell are you doing?"

If he cared about the tone of her voice, if he cared that her eyes weren't quite all the way open, if he cared that her lips weren't painted and her cheeks weren't rosy, he might have been disappointed.

But anything from Blair Waldorf is good right now.

"Blair, thank God you're… I…"

"What are you even doing here?" She asks coldly, her fingers now fallen from his hair. He wishes she'd tug at it again, just so he could tell how much strength she has.

"Do you remember what happened?" He asks. "With the helicopter, you…"

"I remember what happened at the bar." She spits. "Get out."

"But Blair…"

"I said get out!" She screams, coughing harshly as tears start to stream down her face and a nurse runs in, another following to escort him out.

And then he's not sure whether he'd rather her still be out cold.

-

Days pass.

He sits out in the hallway, only inches from the door to her room, and yet he doesn't enter.

Eleanor still hasn't visited any more. Apparently she was on an important business trip in Milan that took pride of place. Chuck guesses Blair's father still doesn't know.

Now he doesn't have the guts to call him.

Serena's smiling again now. Her best friend's back, and she's told him all about their plans to spend the Summer in Paris, how they'll laze on sunloungers beside the pool, how they'll take a ride into the city centre and lunch at tiny cafés by the river, how it'll be an escape from everything.

He doesn't understand quite what she means.

Nate's visited again too. Still hasn't actually made it into Blair's room, but Chuck figures he has his reasons, and perhaps Blair's not strong enough to see the man she still loves.

He guesses she was never strong enough for that.

That was the start of the two of them together, the end of a charade and the beginning of secrecy.

Dan hasn't been though. There's no place for him in that hospital room other than by Serena's side.

Chuck figures that lonely boy doesn't come because he'll be a spare part. _He_ started feeling like a spare part long ago. It doesn't mean he'll stop coming.

-

"He's been here every day you know." Chuck hears Serena tell Blair. He figures he should get a coffee or something, leave them to it, but curiosity and hope gets the better of him, and he stays rooted, like nothing would move him ever again.

Other than Blair Waldorf of course.

"So?"

"So don't you think you should give him a chance?" Serena asks. "Maybe he had his reasons for saying those things to you that night."

"Chuck Bass has no freaking right to judge me, it's not like he's a saint himself."

"Okay, so maybe his reasons were a little…twisted." She offers. "But this is Chuck we're talking about, not a regular human being."

He hadn't been able to think about his words that night. And now he knows that _he_ was Blair's last hope, he was the only one who could have kept her from boarding that plane. And he failed, just like he had done at everything else in his life.

Chuck Bass didn't deserve Blair Waldorf.

"I've got nothing to say to him."

"He's sat out there for days Blair."

The brunette only shrugs. "He sit out there until Hell freezes over. I don't care any more."

And then he listens as the two of them sit in silence. But he doesn't leave.

He won't leave, not now. Perhaps not ever.

Or at least not until she gets discharged.

-

He can hear her crying.

He can hear each little sniffle, each tiny sob, each gasp for air as she faces away from the door, rubbing her hand up and down on the starch white pillow.

There's a lump in his throat and his legs are shaking a little.

Her crying gets a little louder, a little more desperate, until she's kind-of shouting, banging her fists into the pillow.

Serena had brought her some makeup the other day. Chuck bets there's a black river down her face, smudges on the sheets, stains on her lips.

He's glad her back's facing him.

And he still doesn't go in there.

She stops crying each time Serena visits. Wipes at her face furiously, uses shaky hands to hold the mirror her friend had left as she applies mascara, eyeliner, blusher.

Never lipstick.

Lipstick is for Chuck, and Chuck doesn't visit anymore. She's glad he's not here to see the mess she's become.

Blair won't let him know that she needs him. So far, not even a helicopter crash has proved that.

But she breaks one day. Serena had said that he hadn't been outside, said that he'd mumbled something about Monaco again.

"Why won't he come and see me S?" She chokes. "He's supposed to know that I wanted him to stay, he was supposed to argue with me and promise that he'd be here."

"Nate?" The blonde questions, and by the look on Blair's face, she doesn't even know her best friend anymore. "I…I've got to go."

If Serena couldn't save Blair the first time, she'll be damned if she fails again.

-

He's willing anything to stop him from reaching the airport. And sure enough, Serena's message makes him order the driver to turn around, and his heart's racing more than it was when he first heard that Blair had been taken to hospital.

_If you don't tell her you love her, you're even more of an ass than I thought._

Her back's facing him when he enters and he can tell she's crying yet again as she asserts herself.

"S, I'm really not in the mood so-"

"It's me." Chuck cuts in, watching carefully as she wipes at her eyes quickly, her trembling hands reaching into the drawer to pull out the red lipstick.

It's the first time he's smiled in weeks.

And it's over a fucking red lipstick.

"You've got a nerve." Blair says icily as she turns to face him, her face more colourful than he's seen for a long time. "Either that or you're just plain stupid."

He shrugs a littler, shifting his weight to the other foot as she glares at him. "I'm sorry. About everything. I shouldn't have called you a-"

"I should think not." This time Blair cuts in nonchalantly. "You might want to continue your reputation as a womanising ass but you won't be able to do any more womanising if you call all of your conquests sluts and whores."

"You were more to me than that." He argues. "You _are_ more to me than that."

"More than a slut? Wow, go easy on the compliments there Bass. You might put me in another coma."

"Blair…You're more than just a…conquest, you're-"

"So, you banged anyone decent while I've been in here? Jenny maybe?"

"Stop it." Chuck cuts, shutting his eyes.

"Stop what?" She asks innocently, tempting him to snap even quicker as she raises her eyebrows at him.

"Stop pretending."

"I'm not."

"You are. You're pretending like none of this means anything."

Now it's her turn to shrug. "Does it?"

"You know it does."

"Enlighten me."

He's silent for probably too long, because when he's done looking at his shoes, Blair's shaking her head in disgust.

"You're wasting your time here. Isn't there some poor unsuspecting girl out there you could violate?"

"Just stop it!" He shouts, making Blair jump. "I said I'm sorry for everything I said before. I know I shouldn't have let you get on that helicopter and I know I should have said this to you earlier but you're so freaking hard to read Waldorf."

"And you're the one who knows me best." She replied, somewhat sadly. "It doesn't say much for everyone else does it? I mean, my Mother isn't even here and neither is my father. Serena doesn't even know that you're the one I need, and Nate couldn't give a shit-"

"What did you say?" Chuck interrupts. "I'm the one you need."

Blair rolls her eyes.

"That's what you said, you said that Serena doesn't even know I'm the one you need."

"So what? You want a prize or something?"

"Why can't you ever be straight with me?" He's shouting again, and then he watches as Blair crumbles in front of him.

"Because you're supposed to know this!" She chokes as she ruins her complexion for the second time that day. "You weren't supposed to break my heart like Nate did, you were supposed to stay by my side when Gossip Girl decided to announce my…infidelity."

He sits delicately on the edge of the bed as Blair sobs into her hands.

"I should have realised I was just a trophy to you. Your best friend's girlfriend. Hit the jackpot there didn't you?"

Chuck's not sure what to say. Just listens above her cries as the monitor keeps bleeping.

"I told you, you're more to me than that." He says softly, his hands on her shoulders to face her body towards him. "I've been here every day Blair. Every _fucking_ day, do you think I'd have done that if you were just a meaningless screw?"

She only shrugs as he pulls her to him, resting his hand against her neck to stroke her hair.

"Look, I don't normally say these kind of things, I don't normally _feel _these kind of things but-"

"You've said enough." Blair sighs against him. She can't bare him to say any more, that heart monitor might go crazy.

"But…"

"I know." She says softly. It just might mean too much to her to hear those words.

She wishes he'd rough her up in that bed, remove the disgusting gown and make her feel like he had done back in that limo. Feelings were starting to mean too much.

She kisses him then, because she can't bare the silence a moment longer. And when his hands tangle in her hair before grabbing at her skin, his lips breaking only momentarily from hers to steal a breath or two, Chuck bass knows that Blair Waldorf has never felt more alive.

The monitor just keeps bleeping, and she's not going anywhere.

Heaven won't take her and Hell's afraid she'll take over.

Blair Waldorf is nobody's angel but his.

* * *


End file.
